Here’s something I’ve learned: No matter how much trust you have in someone, no matter how well you work together, there will always be moments where you feel like you’re speaking, but not really being heard.
That happened to me recently. I started noticing a pattern—when I suggested something, it felt like it needed an extra layer of scrutiny before it was taken seriously. But when my co-founders suggested something, it seemed to me like it was a go. It wasn’t intentional. And instead of saying something right away, I sat with it. I questioned myself. I wondered if I was imagining things.
For most of my life, my instinct in these moments has been to keep the peace. (Hi, I used to be an Enneagram 9, the human embodiment of “everything’s fine!!” even when it’s not.) But apparently, I'm a 7 now...
If you're not deep in the personality test rabbit hole like me, 7 types are go, go, go - they dive headfirst into new things, and need momentum. And with a strong 2 wing? That just means I also care (probably too much) how the people around me are feeling—even when I forget to say how I’m feeling myself.
And you know what? That checks out.
Because sitting on my frustration did make me feel stuck. And that feeling was what finally made me say something. I laid it all out. Not just the one or two moments that were bothering me, but the pattern. The things I wanted to change. The fact that I wanted to feel like an equal partner, but wasn’t sure I actually did.
Here’s why I’m so lucky: My co-founders—these brilliant, strong, allegedly "dead inside" women (they’re not, they just have ice in their veins in the best way)—actually listened. They didn’t dismiss it. They didn’t get defensive. They took it seriously. And instead of just saying, “we hear you,” they suggested we actually do the work together.
So now, here we are. Taking a working styles test. A personality test. Getting an executive coach. Not because anything is broken, but because we care about how we work together as much as we care about what we’re building.
And that’s the thing—working with people you love and respect doesn’t mean things will always feel perfectly balanced. It just means you can talk about it. It means you can trust each other enough to bring it up, even when it feels messy.
So if something isn’t sitting right with you—say it. It’s the only way to fix it.
P.S. If you’re not quite ready to have that conversation, at least show yourself some love—get yourself a Valentine’s Day mani. You deserve it. ↓↓↓↓
